Bean and Ham

...almost on the floor...

here is what happened: I was walking, as I usually do after getting my lunch, back to my desk carrying my wrap and soup in my left hand, and my onions and pickles in my right hand. At the top of the stairs leading away from the vast cafeteria, there is a left hand turn to go to the sky walk into West Research and Engineering building. I was making my way around this corner in normal western style (i.e. turning on the outside [right]) and all of a sudden, this sea monster of a women comes running/joggin'/waddling quickly around the corner coming from WRE (opposite direction) in my lane running straight into me. Apparently she was trying to avoid a group of people normally walking around the corner (on the inside). I have no problem with the whole incident because my soup and food did not spill, no one was harmed and so on, but what I do have a problem with, and is the reason I call this woman a sea monster, and describe her as waddling, is that she gave scowled at me, and told me, and I quote, "Watch where you are going, you almost spilled your soup on me!" That just makes me angry, because I did nothing wrong, I was walking, on the correct side, and was not making an sudden movements. Thankfully I did not make any sudden movements because she may have reached out and tried to bite me thinking I was a cheeseburger running away from her. Based on how nasty this woman was to me, I will make a few guesses as to why she was in such a hurry, and a giant bitch to me. Yes that is a beached whale, and no it is not a reference to anything...well maybe...

1. The sky walk slopes down leading away from WRE, so I fear that her large weight caused her to gain an overwhelming amount of speed to which she lost control of herself and decided to use the unsuspecting co-op as her emergency brakes





2. Her co-worker in the cube next to her played a belated April fools day joke on her and told her that the cafeteria was about to run out of sour cream, cheese, butter, and bacon for today's baked potato buffet, to which she lumbered to the cafeteria with a large amount of momentum





3. She is British, and thought she was on the right side





4. Her new blouse was only stain proof for drinks, not soup, hence why she decided to point out that I almost spilled soup on her





5. She is just an angry woman

Beyond my "run in" with this woman, my day has be fantastic. I have been working all morning, and been very busy. It was lunch time before I knew it, and that was awesome.

In other news: sports writers are douche bags, and still only talk about how awesome the cubs are, and give the brewers no respect.

I had something else to talk about, but my run in during lunch has me flustered.

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