Tuesday, May 13, 2008

30 rock gave me this one...(the first one)


this one i found later...its title - "The most pathetic baby panda ever" i find that hilarious for some reason.


watch this one first:


second:


japan + soccer = ?

Someone needs to update Japan on the rules of soccer....

um...awesome

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Let me explain...

...why I'm better than you: easy hair maintenance...you may laugh but all y'all are jealous of my ability to roll out of bed and look fantastic no matter the conditions.


I haven't felt like blogging in a long time because I think I was starting to think it was actually a serious thing, except for the large presence of cats, pandas, and bunnies...talking in exotic locales...that aside, I got sick of it. I am no journalist...i wouldn't even consider myself a blogger, since according to Glenn Beck or Glenn Beck, the biggest effing douche in the world, [videogame] bloggers are losers. I just want to write some stuff down and express my emotions about happenings. So this may be updated semi-regularly, depending on what is happening in my life.


Currently, I have been playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto IV, and I must be immune to all the subversive influences of this media because since I have played this abomination of morality and class I have not felt one urge to solicit a prostitute, murder a drug dealer, pummel elderly people, or hail a cab and then proceed to kick the cab driver in the head for use of his vehicle...in the real world. While I haven't gone out of my way in the game to find a prostitute, I have definitely killed drug dealers, beat up unsuspecting individuals on the street, and definitely kicked cab drivers...in the game world. See that difference that I pointed out...real world, game world....I have no problem with someone no agreeing with violent video games, but it is ludicrous for someone to try and convince me that it is bad for me. Take Glenn Beck for example, I could make just as many unjustified and unfounded claims about his use of religion as he can about video games. If someone came out and said, "I have played this game to see what all the hysteria is about, and I do not agree with its themes, and I do not believe that they are safe for children." Awesome, I would high five that person. Because stuff like this shouldn't be in the hands of little kids, I agree. I played these games when I was younger because my parents were oblivious to what was actually happening, but they were no where near as detailed as these games. The language alone is a little course for a college students ears. That aside, people like Glenn Beck are getting on this ridiculously high horse about this game, effectively claiming that they are above free speech and that media such as this should be removed no matter its merit. But i'm sure they go up in arms about how their free speech is being infringed upon when the state makes a court house remove the ten commandments from a statue...it is just stupid. Unfortunately it is an argument that you cannot win because the main stream media can spin things any way they want, and will always error on the side of hysteria. I was looking through Glenn Beck's articles on his website and he has an article asking, "What are you doing to prepare for a possible great depression?" Genius Glenn, just scare them into trusting you.


Brewers have lost four straight, I don't want to talk about it...I'm sick of waiting for their bats to pick up.


I found this today, it is part of series, but this one is funny on its own. A British guy makes them, he does game reviews to that are hilarious...
birthday card as a character reference...that is hilarious...by the way, chris works at a museum.
New Bands....check out the videos...

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Question of the Day....?

If you had to wear one of the following articles of clothing at all times, but couldn't wear both, which would you choose between a big flowing red cape, or a bright pink fanny pack?

I felt old today at work...already, it is ten in the morning, and I was made to feel like an old man. For some reason someone decided to bring a harem of high schoolers into work and show them how to make paper with glitter or something. I unexpectedly walked into the lab to grab a new pen out of the supply closet and was blindsided by this person I have never met asking me random questions, like, "when did you graduate from college and how long have you been working for KC..." When I casually answered, I'm an intern, and still in college, I've worked here for about two years...I got the answer only my hair line could cause, "WOW, you're still in college, I thought you looked like you had been here for at least five years" That would put me at 28 to 29 years old in this woman's mind...I like my thinning hair, and appreciate its simplicity, but I'm not 30, so bitch please, don't talk to me when I'm getting my pen, and go back to your high schoolers.

In other news, I saw a grounds crew worker (old, over-weight, dude, with a funny waddle) sitting in the grass throwing stones at the geese for at least twenty minutes. He was throwing left handed, although, from the looks of it, it would appear that he was raised in a non-baseball environment and is actually right handed, because these rocks landed no where near the geese.

I'm bored, so nothing new there.

Two big wins in a row for the Brewers. I just don't understand the reason so many people hate Ned Yost...he is a very good manager. Granted he makes some interesting decisions, but he always has sound logic behind it. For example, last night, we were up one and Stetter just pitched extremely well, and Yost definitely could have left Stetter in to pitch for the save, since the name of the game last night was save the bullpen, but instead Yost brought it Turnbow. I am a Turnbow fan, he is a stand up guy that has confidence issues, and who wouldn't have a low self confidence when Milwaukee fans treat him like absolute crap. Honestly, I was nervous when Turnbow came in, but I'm generally nervous whenever we have a lead at the end of the game. Despite everyone freaking out, Turnbow came in and pitched great, he struck out the first guy in 10 pitches. That is key with Turnbow, he needs the confidence and if he gets the first guy, it is all good. The second batter should have gone to a full count, even Itaguchi thought the fifth pitch was strike two, but for some reason, the ump was consistently inconsistent. Itaguchi stole second, and the ball got past Weeks, so he move to third with one out. This is where Turnbow shined...he struck out the third batter swinging at a cut fastball low in the zone...that was huge. Then Turnbow induced a ground out with the fourth batter, getting his first save in exactly a year, and he avoided facing Chase Utely.

There were too many coincidences last night compared to the same day a year ago to be ignored. April 23, 2007, the Brewers were playing the Cubs at Wrigley, they eventually won in the 12th inning 5 - 4 with Prince hitting 2 HR, with his second giving the Brewers the lead in the 12th. Then Turnbow came one and recorded the save. April 23, 2008, Brewers beat the Phillies 5-4, with Prince hitting 2 HR, with the second giving them the lead in the 8th, and Turnbow came on and recorded his first save since the previous year. Deja Vu all over again.


Daily LOL Cat:

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Wisconsin Cheddar and Broccoli

I definitely stole someones chair and made it my own. We don't have fancy chairs here, they are just like the crap chairs in the engineering computer labs or library. Well, you can get a fancy mesh chair, but you have to complain about how your back hurts, or something like that, or have more hay points then I do. For all of you keeping track, hay points are this stupid system that KC uses to describe someones rank in the company. When they put new jobs openings up there is a hay point cap, and you must be above the minimum to apply. It is a stupid corporate away to basically tell all the employees, "you must be this tall to be important..." but they still claim that all jobs are open to anyone in the company to apply for, until you get rejected because of your hay point position. I still think that I would have made a great CFO, even though I have almost no hay points or experience with finances. Whatever.

Back to my new chair. A guy I know here, named Greg, has this sweet red chair with a full back that I had never seen before. I sat in it once while he was gone, and it was heaven. The moment I sat in it, I knew what love was. Well, I would consider Greg a friendly co-worker, so I would never steal his chair; however, anyone else that has a beautiful red chair, will most likely lose it. As I was walking to my old lab near my office (its a lab, I call it an office, it has two doors, and four other occupants, but screw them, 2329 is my office bitch) and I passed by this row of cubicles that my supervisor, Tales, as I call him, used to sit; I noticed a glimmer of red. I walk by these cubicles every once and awhile, and this last cubicle is never occupied. The guy that lives there only comes in once a week to enter his time, but otherwise he is at one of the secret experimental facilities, yes they are secret, yes they do not have any markings on the buildings to designated them as part of the company, besides the nice lady at the front desk...who happens to be a trained assassin. Diapers are a serious business people. This information should confirm Lauren's theory that I am not a intern, but yet a secret agent...its true....anyways, so I stealthily rolled my loud as bulky chair over to this dudes cube, and POOF with a flash of smoke and light, I swapped chairs with him, and then rolled on back to my desk. Tales came over to say "what's up," and I informed him of my gallivanting, to which responded with unwavering consistency, "Niiiicccceeee, that's what we call a 'midnight acquisition'" Don't tell my love sac, but this chair is amazing.

get out of my face. six days til grand theft auto...get ready.

Daily LOL Cat:

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I must retract my previous sentiments...

So I may or may not have said that the new Panic! at the Disco album was "meh" or something along those lines, but I'm going to be the bigger person and admit that I was wrong. Even though I wrote that, I have been listening to it non-stop for the last three weeks or so. It is so damn catchy and enjoyable. I hate to say it, but it is way better than their original stuff. When I said that the first two tracks have a modern day Sgt. Peppers feel to them I meant it, but I would like to extend that sentiment to the rest of the album, it is cohesive, telling a perfectly wound story with its sound. No song is out of place, all in the right order, building off of each other to create a seamless experience. If you have ever listened to anything by them you should definitely find a way to get this album...buy it, steal it, trade for it, compete for it, black-mail, pillage...I don't care, it is extremely enjoyable, and worth your money/effort. Their new album is called "Pretty Odd." Check it out.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Turkey and Wild Rice

Today marks the first repeat soup of the day, thankfully, the turkey and wild rice soup is quite good, and would be considered from my top five soups of the day...that is if I were asked to create such a list. It is of course no tomato basil, french onion, or five mushroom, but it at least has some substance unlike chicken noodle or noodle beef.


I have been waking up to a feeling urging my life in the direction of new and greater things. I have no idea what these new and greater things could be, but my current life feels stagnant and needs changing; however, such is the life of an intern. The impending spring and summer or incessant boredom at work are most likely the culprits for this emotion. I do not believe that I am alone in this feeling, since it is common for people my age to become dissatisfied with their current status. If we all looked back upon our lives thus far, I believe that there would be a bounty of unfulfilled and forgotten dreams that once entranced our minds and confounded reason. I wanted to be a fighter pilot the majority of my life, mainly because Top Gun was awesome, but also because it probably seemed so surreal and liberating to me as a kid. I even went as far as to look into going to the Air Force Academy, but the dream slowly dwindled. I then turned to wanting to be in politics, but that was pretty much based on my predilection for sitting and watching the West Wing. When I was still in high school I even thought about going to college for computer programming with hopes of programming video games one day. That is probably the closest to what I should have done, but I never did anything about it. There were many other great things that I dreamed about doing, but all of them are just dreams, nothing more. How did all of those hopes fall short and turn into engineering and law school? I have experienced engineering, well as much as you can consider what I am doing as engineering, and I don't really like it. I have experienced some patent law, and while it is interesting, could I sustain my happiness doing it for the rest of my life? Can I remain happy with a large paycheck and a busy job? Is money all I need to facilitate my happiness? The truth of the matter is that I have no idea what will make me happy. In addition to that, I still don't have a complete grip on what I want to do with my life, but yet I am expected to act accordingly, play the part of a man, and get my plans figured out. Would it be impossible to just say screw you to engineering and become a beat writer for a baseball team, or becoming a video game journalist? As I sit here by myself in Appletown, these are the questions that run through my head as I joyously run through an imaginary world in my television, shooting enemies with my friends ... I just have to find something I love.
a

Speaking of things I love, I officially reserved a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV, so I can now pick it up at 12:00 am on April 29th, paid in full...it should be expected that I will take a sick day on the 29th...

I'm still excited for summer, get ready.
a
Daily LOL Cat:



Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Cheese Tortellini

I don't really have anything to talk vent about today, life is pretty good. I'm bored at work, but I'm over that, and I'm sick of complaining about it. I made a new header for the blog today...I was going to give the cat a talk bubble but it was pretty busy already...the tenative title for the new header is "Cloud Cat Hates Pandas." I think the blog title made out of clouds is pretty sweet, it was kind of difficult to make with good ole' paint, but i think it turned out decent. Let me know what you think of it if you feel like it. They bring happiness to my life, and I'm curious if people find them as enjoyable as I do. I wish there was a way to have them rotate as the header without having to change them manually.


I went down memory lane today and listened to Ben Folds for a little bit. He is still good.



The new Death Cab album is ok.


Someone randomly put a zip-lock bag of peanut butter M&Ms by my desk and they have been a delicious treat all day.


I don't know if that is how you spell Tortellini...


If you pray, send a prayer up for Joba Chamberlain's (Week One MLB Player of the Week) dad, he is in critical condition after collapsing down some stairs, I'm not sure of the details. Joba's dad has suffered from Polio from a young age and has limited use of the left side of his body, but still mangaged to raise Joba and his sister on his own as a single dad.

Daily LOL Cat:


Monday, April 14, 2008

Baked French Onion

If you didn't know, I love french onion soup, so today was exciting, at least for a little bit at lunch. My general attitude towards life today is...meh. I had a awesome night with my parents on Friday, a great swim on Saturday...but then I was just lazy and unmotivated to do anything besides watch the masters, the brewers, or season three of Weeds. On Sunday, I basically laid around in my boxers, curled up in the love sac with a pillow and a fleece blanket, with my feet up on my desk chair. It was a fantastic position. I believe that the sleet and snow on Saturday was the main reason for my weekend depression. Unfortunately, it has carried right on over to today. Work is boring, I have nothing to do, I'm waiting on some numbers to get back from some lady, so I just sit here. It is painful. I have come to the conclusion today that I have two things to look forward to in the coming months and that is it.

The first of course is Grand Theft Auto IV. Ummm words do not describe how excited I am to play this game. Not only is the game setting of "Liberty City," an almost exact replica of New York City, sans-Staten Island, plus New Jersey, because honestly, you can't have a mob game without Jersey; but also, it has some sweet multiplayer which could possibly take me away from playing Call of Duty every night. This atom-bomb of an event drops on April 29th, that is a day over two weeks away, and I am giddy with anticipation. If for some reason you read this and think, "God was a nerd, all he does is play video games," honestly, go f*** yourself.


The second of the two things I have to look forward to is moving back to Milwaukee. To put it plainly, I miss being able to see and talk to my real friends everyday. This summer is going to be epic. As last summer produced the "Best Day Ever," as stated by JJ Pauly after he and I witnessed a young man receiving oral pleasure from a young woman in the middle of a parking lot...this summer with produce similar events except it will be deemed the Best Summer ever. I honestly feel bad for you if you are going to miss out on this. Yeah all you people will be graduating and moving to where ever you think you will be happier, but come on, you and I both know you are wrong, and Milwaukee is where everyone should be. Jim said this to me in an email this morning, "its only like a month and a half until everything is done and life is calm and we are in the same household again, upon which life will be dandy. lawn chairs and sun baby. that's what I'm talking about. lawn chairs and sun. BBQ. f-yes." I couldn't say it any better. f-yes people, f-yes. Here in Wisconsin we get to fully appreciate the seasons, since winter has had its cold firm grip on us for the last few months. It is time to get outside and show the rest of the world how to have a good time. Not only do we get to enjoy baseball, America's pastime, in one of the greatest stadiums ever, but we tailgate like no other city in the country. There is honestly nothing more enjoyable then a 70 degree night at Miller Park with the roof and back panels open, and a calm cool breeze floating in from the south. Brewers baseball, f-yes. On top of that, we have any kind of food and drink you would ever need. We have breweries galore to tour, all of which feature free beer, we also have Soblemen's with the world's greatest burgers. You just can't go wrong with Milwaukee's food offering, f-yes people, f-yes. Then there is Summerfest. I'm not a huge fan of Summerfest, with all the drunk teenagers, but there is always good music, and maybe we will get to see Ben and the Boys play again this year. With Summerfest and anything going to Alpine Valley, music in Milwaukee obviously gets a f-yes as well. The best thing that is going to happen this summer is my living arrangements. Seriously, the only downside is that all of us will not be there, unfortunately Kevincent will be working up in Minnesota again. But, I cannot wait, to be back living with Jim again. The happiest times in my life have corresponded with the times that I was living with Jim. If you ever thought I was happy during a time that I wasn't living with Jim, I was faking it. On top of reuniting Jim and I under the same roof, we get to have Lundgy around all the time as well. Granted he will be working, which will suck, but Lundgy is probably the easiest person in the world to live with, not to mention his girlfriend is awesome as well. This is going to be the most stress free summer ever. Jim and I have concluded that we are saying, f-you to jobs, and saying f-yes to rocking out and just relaxing. Maybe Jim can pay me to be his bike race bitch, even though I already do it for free. There are so many other things that I have to look forward to this summer, to mention a few: the new batman movie, the new ninja gaiden game, going to the beach, my triathlon, Saturday morning baseball, and just being outside. I cannot wait, and I feel bad for you if you are not going to be here, because honestly, Washington D.C is lame, so is New York, and Michigan sucks Craig, go to MCW. Summer is coming, get ready people, f-yes it is coming.

in other news, Jim won his first pro race of the year. He bitch slapped everyone, by lapping the field in a break away, and then beat every one in the final field sprint. This kid is such a powerhouse that you might as well just say goodbye to one of his nuts and just call him Lance.


keep 'er easy kids. support your local Brewers.


Daily LOL Cat:

Friday, April 11, 2008

MLB Player of the Week: Week 3

Happy Friday kids. Let's talk some baseball. So this week is a change of pace compared to the last two weeks, since the Soup de Jour MLB Player of the Week this week is not a pitcher. But before we reveal this weeks pick, let's look over the other players that had fantastic weeks.


Milwaukee's own Bill Hall had a good week at the plate this week with a solid line of 5 R 8 H 4 HR 8 RBI 1 SB .320 AVG. He also had some pretty nice plays over on third, including his diving stop with the throw from his knees against the Reds. Staying in the Central division, Albert "the elbow" Pujols, is making me eat my words when I may have said something along the lines of, "The Cardinals suck, and Pujols won't do anything, and will be out by the second week with his elbow blowing up..." Well the Cardinals are top of the Central, and Pujols is just popping the ball all over the place, especially this week. He had a line this week of 5 R 7 H 2 HR 3 RBI 2 SB .318 AVG. I just think it is hilarious that Pujols stole two bases...that is fun. Well, let's just keep our fingers crossed that the Cardinals do well enough to keep the Cubs in third place, but no good enough to keep the Brewers out of first.


And, drum roll...[drum noises] This week, the Soup de Jour Player of the Week is Arizona Diamondback's third basemen Mark Reynolds. Reynolds is a 24 year old from Pikeville, KY drafted in 2004. He has serious power. On Monday, he took over the major league lead in home runs with a 428-ft three run home run. According to Yahoo, this is his ridiculous line from the last week: 7 R 10 H 5 HR 13 RBI 0 SB .385 AVG. That is a crazy week. The only reason he didn't steal any bases is because he was hitting home runs so much that he didn't even get the chance to steal them. I'm pretty sure that his potent offense is contributing greatly to the D-backs current hot start of 7-2, making them first in the West. I honestly don't care about the NL West, but I have to like the D-backs because they were very nice last year and swept the Cubs (D-bags) in the NL Divisional Series. It will definitely be impressive if Reynold's can keep up this hot streak. It should also be noted that his power is legit, last year he hit at least four home runs of at least 447-ft...that is crazy, and out of some parks....I'm pretty sure that would be out of Miller Park if hit to the right spots. That is power.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Chicken Noodle

...was sub-par and boring...Dear cafeteria ladies: MORE SALT, Thank you.

Um there is a baby somewhere with two faces...it is freaky, and I refuse to post the picture here. Supposedly, she is being worshiped by whatever country she is in as a goddess. Weird. Check it out. Search for like "two-face+baby", or "demon+goddess+two-face", or even better "Harvey Dent's illegitimate child in east Asia." (if you get that last one, I give you a high five)

Um I'm bored today, just sitting here copy and pasting numbers from one excel spreadsheet to another. Thankfully the Brewers game is on the radio, and Carlos is pitching a dandy, I'm not going to say what is happening thus far, because I don't want too jinx it, even thinking about it might have done it...we'll see next half of the inning. [EDIT: no hitter ended in the forth]


Bob Uecker is hilarious...
P.S. Jim - it is spelled douche.


Daily LOL Cat:



Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Tortilla Soup

... aka Sexy Chili

I'm officially bored out of my mind...so bored in fact, that I can't bring myself to actually write something today. Go read some of Jim's blog, because it is way funnier than anything I could write down. Although he has admitted that he made some things up, but I can't hold that against him because I still laugh anyways. A link to his blog is, and always is, in the side bar. Check it out.

Also, give Gagne a little bit of time. We still won once again, and he was one strike away from closing the game. I'm not worried, although I was when it was happening because I was trying to go to sleep, and couldn't because I knew the game was still on and Gagne was pitching. So I'm very tired since I was up later that I should have been, and I swam this morning. Soooo being tired+ bored = lazy.

Ohhh one thing, I'm quite down with this protesting against the Olympics in china because I agree that china needs to get their act together. I still can't believe the the Olympic committee endorsed china for this given the abhorrent air quality. Seeing athletes boycotting this Olympics because they don't want to ruin their health because of the air is terrible. China being some giant douche bags doesn't help either with their treatment of Tibet and how stupid they act with their basketball players who play in the NBA. It wasn't a coincidence that once Yao Ming when down and was questionable for the Olympics that Yi came up with a sudden and mysterious ankle injury, which he limped in great pain with off the court, and then walked completely normal down the tunnel once he was away from the court. China needs to realize that these basketball players are the property of the NBA, not China, and China has no say it what happens with them, concerning how much they play and where they play. Now Yao understands this, he actually plays hard for Houston, but Yi on the other hand said, "I'm going focus on getting ready for the Olympics during the second half of the season," instead of saying what he should have...something along the lines of "I'm looking forward to helping get the Bucks to the playoffs," or something like that. No one here cares about you and your Chinese basketball team. They are just a bunch of selfish children that think it is ok to play on your swing set when you're not home, but once one of them breaks their flippin' wrist being an idiot, that it is your fault, and you should bear the responsibility of healing them and paying the medical bills, while you make them a grilled cheese sandwich with no crust, and a ice cold coke, with homemade ice cream on the side....oh don't forget that you have to smile. Seriously, China, we're taking our ball and going home, stay on your side of the world, and stop polluting the flippin' air. Also, let your "free" people watch whatever they want on youtube...I hope you get overthrown.


and when I said, i was too lazy to write, I shouldn't have brought up China, because I hate China.





Daily LOL Cat:





Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Baked Potato

Is it just a coincidence that yesterday there was a baked potato buffet, and today there is baked potato soup. That is like in high school when there would be cheddar broccoli soup the day after there was nachos.

My parents are coming up to AppleTown on Friday to see where I live and work, fun stuff like that. Actually, Mom wants to see all that stuff, Dad just wants to see my TV so he can complain about how much money I spent or something. I have spent at least an hour trying to find a restaurant here in AppleTown that would suit my parents taste buds. Not only is this difficult because it is my parents, but because the only places I have been to eat up here is Subway and Chinese Buffet. I think I have settled on Flanagan's Wine Review...looks ok. I got nothing else today, I'm thinking of ideas for a new banner, so my creative juices are minimized.

Daily LOL Cat:


Breaking News: SUDS!

So this morning before I got ready for work, I started my dishwasher because I needed clean bowls and spoons for dinner tonight. Once again, I have to go on record and say that I am a moron, and I should have seen this coming. Here is the problem. For some reason my dish scrubber decides that it doesn't like to hold the soap in its handle, and just leaks out into the sink through the scrubber end. So I had recently refilled my scrubber handle and placed it in a dirty bowl after I had used it. When I returned the next day about a third of the soap had leaked through the brush end and into the bowl. For some reason I didn't think I should wash this out. There is the back story. Back to this morning. I placed all the dishes into my dishwasher, including the bowl with a semi-large amount of dish soap still in it, put in the normal dishwasher soap, started the thing and started getting ready for work. I was about to leave, but as I reached to turn the light off in the kitchen I noticed the floor looked different. The entire kitchen floor (tile, thank god) was completely covered in about 4 inches deep of soap suds which were pouring from the dishwasher. Apparently, the excessive amount of soap in the dishwasher was a problem.

You may ask what I did to solve this problem. Well my oil-spill instincts kicked into gear and I grabbed an entire roll of paper towel, my two clean bath towels and made an absorbent barrier sectioning off the spill area. If there was a drowning duck in soap suds, I would have saved it too. Once the spill was under control, I went to work, because I needed to go and take a picture for all the co-ops at eight am, and then had to go buy a bucket, a mop, and a new towel. I eventually returned to my apartment to finish the job after purchasing the necessary items to find that I had forgotten to actually turn off the dishwasher, so there was just more soap suds in the kitchen. Once again, Me = moron.

The spill was eventually completely cleaned up, including moving the stove and cleaning under it, and moving the fridge and cleaning under it as well. Maybe this spill was the best thing that had happened so far because I needed to buy a mop for this floor, and it was getting pretty dirty. Now it smells clean and looks fantastic.

I had a fun moment in Wal-mart when the elderly man greeting me at the door said, "Thank you, Have a nice day sir," when I was the only person walking into the building. I got a chuckle out of the mis-phrased welcome, but I almost died laughing to myself when as I was walking out through the same door, the man said, "Hello, how are you today, sir?" I can't make this stuff up.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Bean and Ham

...almost on the floor...

here is what happened: I was walking, as I usually do after getting my lunch, back to my desk carrying my wrap and soup in my left hand, and my onions and pickles in my right hand. At the top of the stairs leading away from the vast cafeteria, there is a left hand turn to go to the sky walk into West Research and Engineering building. I was making my way around this corner in normal western style (i.e. turning on the outside [right]) and all of a sudden, this sea monster of a women comes running/joggin'/waddling quickly around the corner coming from WRE (opposite direction) in my lane running straight into me. Apparently she was trying to avoid a group of people normally walking around the corner (on the inside). I have no problem with the whole incident because my soup and food did not spill, no one was harmed and so on, but what I do have a problem with, and is the reason I call this woman a sea monster, and describe her as waddling, is that she gave scowled at me, and told me, and I quote, "Watch where you are going, you almost spilled your soup on me!" That just makes me angry, because I did nothing wrong, I was walking, on the correct side, and was not making an sudden movements. Thankfully I did not make any sudden movements because she may have reached out and tried to bite me thinking I was a cheeseburger running away from her. Based on how nasty this woman was to me, I will make a few guesses as to why she was in such a hurry, and a giant bitch to me. Yes that is a beached whale, and no it is not a reference to anything...well maybe...


  1. The sky walk slopes down leading away from WRE, so I fear that her large weight caused her to gain an overwhelming amount of speed to which she lost control of herself and decided to use the unsuspecting co-op as her emergency brakes


  2. Her co-worker in the cube next to her played a belated April fools day joke on her and told her that the cafeteria was about to run out of sour cream, cheese, butter, and bacon for today's baked potato buffet, to which she lumbered to the cafeteria with a large amount of momentum


  3. She is British, and thought she was on the right side


  4. Her new blouse was only stain proof for drinks, not soup, hence why she decided to point out that I almost spilled soup on her


  5. She is just an angry woman


Beyond my "run in" with this woman, my day has be fantastic. I have been working all morning, and been very busy. It was lunch time before I knew it, and that was awesome.


In other news: sports writers are douche bags, and still only talk about how awesome the cubs are, and give the brewers no respect.


I had something else to talk about, but my run in during lunch has me flustered.


Daily LOL Cat:



List of things I forgot to do even though I promised I'd do them:

1) Write palancas

Sorry Cassie, I completely forgot. I will make it up to you.

Although I think none of us should be surprised that I dropped the ball on this one, I'm not exactly the definition of reliable....although, you ditched me for dinner, not to point fingers, just saying...maybe your fault...I don't know

In other news: It appears that my use of the phrase MLB player of the week has caused my blog to be the second site shown on Google when that phrase is used...I bet six people that showed up last night were pretty disappointed. To increase their disappointment, I will continue blogging and use as many commonly searched phrases as possible; for example, "free money," "Jessica Alba nude," "why Illinois should be quarantined from the rest of the USA," "Brett Favre," and last but not least, "Duct tape." We'll see what happens after that.

Friday, April 4, 2008

MLB Player of the Week: Week 2

It has been an amazing feeling to have baseball back. The first week of play has offered some great performances, especially by some young rookies. In my opinion there were several candidates for this weeks player of the week, including Nebraska's own Alex Gordon from Kansas City, who his two home runs in a three game sweep of the potent Tigers, he also had a clean diving grab and throw to keep the Tigers from coming back to win in extra innings in the first game of the series; however, we're choose a player with no affiliation to Nebraska. Another candidate could be Carlos Gomez of the Minnesota Twins. In his first game for the twins this year he went 3 for 2, with 2 R and 2 SB. However, even though he held decent stats the rest of the week, it wasn't as impressive as his first game. Then there is this weeks choice for player of the week. Even though I would prefer to avoid repeating positions two weeks in a row, but this line is too good to be denied.



Last night Johnny Cueto, the 22 year old from the Dominican Republic made his major league debut for the Cincinnati Reds and pitched one of the three greatest games of any major league debut. Cueto's line was 7.0 IP 1 H 1 ER 0 BB 10 SO 1.29 ER. This kid was perfect through five until Justin Upton hit the only hit, which happened to be a solo home run. I've posted the highlights from the game from ESPN with this post, and you should check it out because his stuff is nasty. The most incredible part it this line is the 10 Ks and 0 walks. He threw a total of 92 pitches, and 68 of those were strikes. That is crazy. He fanned Eric Brynes all three times he saw him, as well as basically everyone else on the team. On top of that, this time last year, Cueto was pitching in A ball...talk about burning through the minors. He has moved so fast through the farm system that no one saw this kid coming. When Dusty Baker, the Reds manager, said Cueto was the most impressive player he had seen all spring, people were like, "Cueto who?" He wasn't even in the database of players eligible for Fantasy, and doesn't have a player profile on ESPN. I'm pretty sure all of that will change pretty quickly. The Reds definitely knew about Cueto this entire time since for the last two years he was named the Minor League Pitcher of the Year for the Reds. Even though I am a little scared of having this kids stuff in our division, I cannot deny him the recognition he deserves. So Ladies and Gentlemen, the MLB Player of the Week: Johnny Cueto. Check out the video below.



Cueto Impressive in Debut



Daily LOL Cat[Bunny]:


Um...Half Day?

Soooo....the new map pack for Call of Duty came out this morning...I will be leaving work eventually, probably around ten, to go home and relax and play some sweet new maps.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Cream of Tomato

I'm on empty for creative juices today. I sat in a lab for three straight hours with a person that I had never met before. I had to use all my creativity to come up with small talk for the entire time. The worst part of it was that this testing was comparable to watching paint dry, we would turn the power supply on...sit for three minutes....turn the power supply off...sit for two minutes...rinse and repeat, for 21 codes...if we were one hundred percent efficient it would only take 105 minutes...but instead it took three hours...it was painful.


Are you excited that the brewers are 2-0 and have beaten the Cubs twice now....and currently are...tied...they were up two nothing, but apparently, they are now tied two all...


Well I'm excited...plus I've been able to watch the games in HD, and that is fantastic.


I have been finding myself watching HGTV a lot after work...and I'm ok with that. That channel offers a lot of things that I like, semi-in the closet, but I like stuff like that. I love watching people fix up kitchens, bathrooms, even entire houses. It just makes me want to own a house, or condo, something that I can paint and fix up...Maybe this is due to my upbringing where I would constantly help my dad with random things around the house, and loved watching him wire the house for speakers, or random stuff like that. On top of that, I just like seeing people's houses. I'm not exactly proud of my liking for things like this, but it is probably a good thing since then no one will have to bug me to paint or fix something around my future abode. So if you are my future wife, please look forward to many weekends hanging out fixing the house...also, please find me and introduce yourself as my future wife...it would make the process a lot quicker and less embarrassing for me, since i will most likely embarrass myself many times trying to court a wife....


I guess an obsession like that is similar to people constantly watching the food channel or animal planet with their nine cats sitting on the couch, while they are force to sit on the ground...it helps that HGTV is in HD because then all the colors look very nice, and makes all the "normal" people look hilarious, because people in HD mainly look funny.


I'm going to go back and listen to the Brewers game.


Daily LOL Cat [read as Frog/Toad]:


Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Five Mushroom

If you are looking for a reason why Tom Crean left Marquette...go rent Hoosiers...what a douche. I listened to his press conference on ESPN Radio this morning, and it sounded like the entire time he was trying to convince anyone from Marquette that he isn't the biggest douche in the world. I don't blame Tom Crean for doing this though...I expected it from him. If anyone was going to jump from one storied program to another storied program all willy-nilly, Crean would. Now, he has a chance to look better than I expect him to, by not taking any recruits with him...however, I feel this is an impossibility. Any recruit that was seriously considering coming to Marquette, will now seriously consider committing to Indiana. So in the end, Tom Crean is a douche. He can go hang out in the land of nothing-ness that is Indiana. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I hope the Badgers completely destroy Indiana both times next year.


Daily LOL Cat:

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Beef Noodle

So that was a little more 'noodle' than 'beef'...maybe it should have been called Noodle Beef. But wait...weren't you supposed to go to a company lunch for Lindsey this afternoon? Why yes, I was supposed to go get some delicious Chinese food. So Why did you have Noodle Beef soup for lunch then? Well, that is because I got ditched. Was it on purpose, maybe...all I know is that I showed up the atrium at 11:30 as I was supposed to, and no one showed up. I waited about five minutes because that is generally how late people usually are for stuff around here, but still no one showed up. So confused, I walked back to some people's desks that I knew were going and they were no where to be found. Quite lame. Maybe this is the beginning of a long series of events that make me realize that people actually despise me. I am surprisingly, well it would be to most of you, a very nice person around work. SO this new thing of "let's ditch the intern," is really fun. I'll do my best to turn it into a full fledge adult version of hide and seek.


This is probably the worst day of the year to be the least bit interested in news surrounding technology and video games. For some reason, technology journalists and companies take April Fool's Day to a whole new level by releasing the most ludicrous and sometimes, heart breaking, news. The problem is, that usually any news release today in the video game world is considered fake until proven real without any reasonable doubt, so when real news is released no one can tell if it is actually real. This also allows companies to release bad news today, and the after shock is minimized because most people just believe it is a joke. For example, the most amazing game Call of Duty 4 was scheduled to release a new set of four multi player maps on Thursday, but this morning news broke that it was being delayed again. The majority of the morning people all argued about whether or not this was true or a hoax, instead of talking about how this is the thousandth time that Infinity Ward has delayed this map pack. Ultimately, IW will get away with less of a out cry because the majority people will forget about how stupid this is by tomorrow. April Fool's Day also allows any person on a technology message board to be a moron all day, making the most ridiculous claims. Everyone knows that a true prankster pulls pranks 364 days a year, excluding April Fool's Day. April Fool's Day is stupid....although it has offered some classic moments to my life.


One AFD (april fools day, i'm sick of writing, although that will probably be the last time it is written...) my brother and I decided that we were going to do various of things to our parents. We did the classic pranks, like putting a rubberband around the trigger for the sprayer in the sink (the old school ones that weren't attached to the spout, they were their own thing), and putting saran wrap on the toilets. We probably did the best wrap job on our parents toilet, you couldn't see a thing, and we were very very proud of ourselves. Until the moment came where my dad went into their room to use the bathroom, and I got terrible pranksters guilt. Being like 10 or so, I was still a little bit innocent, I sprinted to stop my dad screaming not to use the bathroom because we had saran wrapped the toilet. My brother was super pissed, since he was not innocent anymore, and probably hadn't been since he was two or so. That same day we also decided to change the salt to sugar in the salt shaker. This was probably the lamest of all the pranks, since we completely forgot about it until Thanksgiving when my mom exclaimed something along the lines of, "Why do these carrots taste so sweet?" and then my brother and I remember that we had switched the salt to sugar months before hand. Let's just say Mom was a little peeved that she had been cooking with sugar instead of salt for over six months...


I was told today by a certain person, who shall not be name to save her from hate mail, that she hated the brewers. I almost cried...that would put a damper on the summer that I was hoping to involve her in...you have 24 hours to retract your statement.


And for all you doubters out there...give Gagne a chance, he had one bad inning...we won, so that is all that counts. That is his 11th blown save in his career, and the only one of three runs. Look at the positive instead, that Riske and Mota were nasty, and if anything we have solid set up men and back ups for the closer. In all reality, we have like five proven closers in our bullpen...that means if they all pitched everyday, we would only need four quality innings from our starter to give us a solid chance to win every game. Also, in the end, we beat the Cubs in their home opener...that is the best thing ever.


Daily LOL Cat:

Monday, March 31, 2008

Holy S*** White Chicken Chili

Did you catch that the first time? Wow, white f***ing chicken chili...so good. Thick, a little spicy, with a whole lot of good flavor. That aside, I'm pretty pumped about this weeks offerings, especially Wednesday, but I'll just save that for a surprise. It will not take over the top spot on the list of "Best Weeks of Soup," but it could sneak into second with a solid showing on Tuesday and Thursday, usually the off days of the week for soup. I have to avoid over hyping this week though, other wise I'll end up feeling like I did so many other times before, due to failed hype. For example, driving back to Appletown yesterday, I got to listen to the second half of the Kansas - Davidson game. I had been so over hyped on Stephen (pronounced Steff-in, not stee-vin, or steff-on, or any other ludicrous pronunciation that was attributed to his normal name) Curry, that when he missed like two or three straight three pointers in the final two minutes I was shocked. From what I had been told by every commentator in the country since the first round, this kid wasn't supposed to miss. So when the final seconds came, and Davidson was down by two, with a chance to win or tie, and the shot didn't come to Curry, and was missed by Richards, I was deflated to say the least. I had spent the hour in the car expected the great to happen, and in the end, nothing. This is not to say that Davidson isn't really flippin' good, because they are, I mean they played amazing man-to-man defense, they had three dudes just draining three's when Curry wasn't shooting, and on top of all that, they did have Curry. But I was so hyped up by the media, that I was just expecting them to win, so when they didn't, I was disappointed.

Other things that have been over-hyped include:
5. Superman Returns
4. Electricity
3. The Pursuit of Happiness
2. The Second Coming
1. Ferbies


Were you not supposedly able to train a Ferby to say things, or do the dishes or something. I feel as if no one ever achieved this goal. All I remember is sitting with my friend's Ferby and repeatedly saying "shit" to it, trying to make the thing swear. What a load of crap those things were, along with Tickle-Me Elmo, just shows the waste of money and research to create things like that from the early 00s (using 00s for the 2000s looks bad ass, by the way, how pumped are you to soon be living in the 20s again...can we please try to bring back the three-piece suit, and just a "roaring" attitude towards life like the original roaring 20s). For the record, I hate Ferbies.

The Brewers-Cubs game just officially got delayed by rain. Seriously, Chicago would have rain today. I hate Chicago.

To show how stupid I am at five in the morning, I'll tell you a story. As is common with weekends when I go to Milwaukee to hang out with people, not just play video games with them on Xbox Live, I didn't get a chance to go to the Rec Center and swim on Saturday morning as my training schedule prescribed. This is mainly because of the lazy douche bags of the Marquette Recreational Sports Department, who don't open the Rec Center until eleven in the morning. Honestly, I would think Saturday would be the one day where you could open a little early...some people like to be productive on Saturdays. However, that is neither here nor there with this story. So whenever this happens, I will got swimming on Monday morning, and then run at night after work, when I was supposed to only run. This is what happened this morning. The process of getting everything together for the morning swim is very difficult mainly because it is five in the morning, and I am generally "disoriented." I eventually get to work, go swim (1250 m, for those of you keeping score...which would bring the overall score to Life 13440 Mike 7), take a shower, engage in an awkward conversation with my supervisor while I am still naked, and get dressed. This is where my stupidity at five in the morning shows its ugly head. I realize that I did not bring a dress shirt with me this morning. I wanted to scoff and laugh at myself, but those personal sound effects are not to be encouraged with a room full of naked men, as they could be misinterpreted. So I had to drive back to my apartment, get a shirt, and feel like a moron. This however does not live up to the time I bought microwave dinners while not owning an actual microwave. I claim faulty packaging because they have nothing saying "Microwave required."

I just listened to the the new Panic! At the Disco album, and while the first two tracks have a modern day Sgt. Peppers feel to them, the rest of the album is kind of ho-hum and slow, failing to live up to the debut. Also, they sound too much like Fall Out Boy in the lyrics department. It is a definitive step in another direction from the debut, they add a lot of new instruments like horns, harmonicas, and strings. Enjoyable, but not addictive like Fever.


Daily LOL Cat:

Friday, March 28, 2008

Bangor Clam Chowder

Seriously people, Lent is over, we can stop the seafood soups on friday...Don't get me wrong I love clam chowder, but I'm a little sick of it every friday for the last forty days and forty nights. Just give me a little tomato basil, or white chicken chili...come on.
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Breaking News: I bought jeans for the first time in probably six years yesterday, and actually wore them to work (casual fridays). I will also cuff them James Dean style, so deal with it.
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I put up at new header...I'll probably be making new ones every week, and then rotating them around once I get a couple. I thought the last one was hilarious, but this one has a perfect reference to one of the greatest things I have randomly found drawn in an Onion left at Roches. Any Harry Potter fan should appreciate this. And if you are not a Harry Potter fan, maybe you should be, especially because of her: See Pictured. BUT...clean thoughts only, since she is under age, and according to Ben, he is going to marry her, so hands off.
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Well, I don't have much of anything today, I threw in all my marbles with Joba, but it should be mentioned that it was a sadder day at work than usual because it was Lindsey's last day. She is off to work with the gibberish talking people in Indiana, but it is for the better because she gets to get out of this "lovely" company. She will be missed, and I especially will miss her since I now have no one to talk to or just waste time with while at work. My Subway consumption will level off to "seldom," which will be nice, but I will no longer get the joy of seeing the American-Eagle club (a group of Appleton high school girls that wear the exact same pair of American-eagle pants to subway every Friday...it is hilarious). Well, thanks for the fun times Lindsey, I'll miss having you around.
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Daily LOL Cat:

MLB Player of the Week: Week 1

The staff here at the blog has decided that we will write a post every Friday about our pick for the MLB player of the week. The player of the week will not only be judged on his playing ability and performance that week, but also his general attitude and demeanor towards other people. Some of the chosen players may be our attitude towards life that week.

As many of you know, I bleed Milwaukee blue and Boston red through and through; however, this week, I'm bleeding the pin stripes of Yankees' pitcher Joba Chamberlain. Not only does Joba have some of the nastiest pitches in the majors, but he boasted a sub 0.500 ERA in twenty-four innings. Here is his complete line from last season:
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2007: W 2 L 0 S 1 HLD 8 ERA 0.38 IP 24 K 34 WHIP 0.75
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He got that line last year with a fast ball that consistently clocks in at 100 or 99 miles per hour, and a sick snapping slider at 87 mph. On top of those two pitches, he has added a new change up to his arsenal that has been freezing batters all spring. Now, a lot of other pitchers in the majors have pitches just like that, so what makes Joba so special? He is the youngest, calmest, cold blooded, bull dog in the majors. He steps on the mound and knows that he is going to strike you out. Granted he has the benefit of not having to face the likes of Rodriguez, Jeter, and Cano, but when the Red Sox came to town, Joba said, with no words, "I'm not scared of you, get the f*** out of my house," to Kevin Youkilis with two straight pitches at the head. Call me insane, but I love this kind of stuff in baseball, especially if it knocks my previously humbly cursed Red Sox off their new high horse. Now don't get me wrong, I would love to see Joba come to Miller Park and clean house for the Brewers, but for now, I don't care who he plays for, I'm Joba's biggest fan.
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The man reason Joba is the player of the week is because of what he has done off the field, because it shows that he knows when to turn the bulldog on and off, or at least stay inside the yard. Joba was raised in Lincoln, Nebraska, and bleed Cornhuskers Red. He was raised in poverty by he single father, who is paralyzed on his left side from polio and worked as a counselor at the Nebraska State Penitentiary. When Joba was seventeen years old, after graduating from high school he didn't go to college but worked in the Lincoln City Maintenance to help his dad pay the bills. To put this in perspective that was four years ago...Eventually Joba attended a State college and later transferred to Nebraska to play baseball for the Huskers. in 2005 he posted a 10-2 with a 2.81 ERA, with five double digit SO games, to help the Huskers win their first ever College of World Series win. In 2006, he was drafted 41st by the Yankees, and entered their farm system in the beginning of the 2007 season. He sped through the farm system and was promoted to pitch his first game in the majors of August 7, 2007 against the Blue Jays. He struck out his first batter, and went on to pitch two scoreless innings and striking out one more. Maintenance man to star major league pitcher in four years...that's amazing. What's more amazing is his humility. During ESPN's annual weekend soiree at Disney Land, Joba showed his true colors in the what he did and said. Watch the video.
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I should mention that I am a proud fantasy owner of Joba, and am happy to have his demeanor of the humble bulldog on my team.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Beef Barley

AHHHHHH....Best Buy sucks. So there are positives and negatives to this story. As you may know, my xbox had broken, i filed a replacement claim with best buy, they sent me a gift card...it was blank. So they lady in the store, who was extremely nice and helpful, said they will reissue a card to you in the next seven to ten business days. la-di-frickin da, so I wait seven business days, and I don't hear anything from Best Buy...so this morning I decided to call the replacement plan help line. I explain to Irene what has happened and she says, "Have you tried using the card again?"...to which I respond, "um no, it is empty, that would be pointless." Then she hits me with this gem, "I agree Mr. Bergemann (pronounced barge-men), pointless indeed...well our records show that we replaced the original funds on the card last week, so you should be able to use it once again." surprised, I respond, "Sweet, but was anyone going to tell me about this?" Irene: "You will most likely receive a letter in the next three to four weeks informing you of the re-issued funds." See pictured face. Don't get me wrong, I am elated to have my money back, but that three to four weeks jazz Irene was laying down was a lot different than the seven to ten business day song the best buy manager was singing. Lets look at the information Best Buy has on me, and the cost to communicate with me in those manners:


  1. email - fast...friendly...flippin' easy...and free....

  2. phone - fast...most likely awkward initial ten seconds...probably not free

  3. snail mail - slow...annoying...old-school...at least 41 or more cents....

Although, I shouldn't complain because I have my xbox and I am happy. This makes me think of a classic moment from Philip DeFranco talking about customer service...check it out below.



That isn't the video I was looking for, there was one where he was talking about xbox live customer support, it was hilarious...it appears that it has disappeared off you tube.


I got nothing...


Daily LOL Cat:





Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Chicken Dumpling

Not really that pumped about the Chicken Dumpling today...it is usually mediocre at best. Plus it is hard to follow up a solid Monday-Tuesday line-up of Texas Chili and Wisconsin Cheddar Broccoli. But I think I'll manage, because there is nothing that a little diced onion and crushed saltine can't fix.

"At home drawing pictures of mountain tops with him on top, lemon yellow sun, arms raised in a V, dead lay in pools of maroon below....King Jeremy the Wicked ruled his world"

Why didn't anyone inform me before that Pearl Jam is awesome....I'm blaming my brother for this one.

If I had to make a new gamertag I would definitely make King Mike the Wicked...I think that screams, "I will pwn you" much more than P Blue Ribbon does...that gives off more of a, "It is amazing that I'm killing you because I'm most likely drunk..." kind of message.
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For any of you with your head buried in the ground, the regular season of baseball started yesterday, in Japan. It has been a treat to be able to wake up at five or six am and find beautiful professional baseball being played in HD. Granted I made the mistake of not putting Mark Ellis (Oakland) in at second base for my fantasy team, costing me a nice little line of 3 AB 1 H 1 R 1HR...it was still nice to see baseball. Unfortunately Jon Lester (Boston) got shelled for four runs today in four innings with the sox losing to split the two game Japan series. Once again the Boston Globe looks foolish of after they started pre-ordering their new recount of the red sox 2008 season entitled "162-0".... those writers need to get over themselves.

In the category of "Things I'm Looking Forward To," I will be attending a pre-season exhibition baseball game of the Brewers vs. Kansas City on Saturday afternoon. Not only do we get to experience baseball once again inside the basilica of Milwaukee baseball that is Miller Park, but we will also get to enjoy said baseball game for the low price of ten dollars, sitting in the first deck about seven rows from being able to reach out and touch Billy Hall or Alex Gordon, depending on who is on the field. Although I must say it is going to be slightly awkward to being going to a Brewers game when it is possibly cold out. This is the only real problem I have with global warming. The later and later spring and summer show up, the worse for baseball, because eventually, they are going to have to move the start of the season back a couple of weeks. This would ultimately ruin the phrase, "October classic," or Derek Jeter would seem less important with the title of "Mr. October," when the post-season actually would occur in November...Honestly, I can't really wait two more weeks or anything like that for the baseball to start. Additionally, the longer we have to wait for pro baseball to start, the later into the spring/summer we have to wait to start Saturday morning baseball. I have no problem with global warming on a whole...i don't care, it would be actually nice to have a birthday on a 70 degree day in December eventually, but just leave baseball alone.

Baseball as a whole is a far greater entity to the happiness of millions of Americans, than sunshine. Scientists have made the mistake of associating the common depression of people during the winter months to the lack of sunshine, when in all reality it is merely the fact that they lives are absent of the smell of an open fire on a grill, the pop of a sharp double into the gap, the feel of a dirty leather ball, the sight of a freezing 12 to 6 curve, the thrill of a bases loaded, top of nine, 2 outs, 3-2 strikeout for the save, and the triumph of walk-off home run. Some people may not understand the obsession with baseball, or why people spend hours looking over spring training lines to determine their own sleeper power house or young stud pitcher. But baseball is by far the most accessible sport in America. Fantasy baseball allows us to live the dream, to control our own destiny; because many fantasy owners actually feel that they possess some control over how a player will play, or that they have the prophetic wisdom to predict a break out year and broker a lopsided trade. I don't care what you say, but basketball, football, even soccer, have nothing on baseball. Win or lose, clean or dirty, juiced or purebred, it doesn't matter, baseball is pure. It will always be a game between two teams of nine players, under direction of a manager, played on an enclosed field in accordance with the rules, under jurisdiction of one or more umpires, with glory standing only sixty feet - six inches away. Baseball is spring, summer, and fall; baseball is America.

For the record, that brings the list of "Things That Are America," to 1) Brett Favre 2) Baseball

Daily LOL Cat: